On-Line Dating
Is It Worth It?

HairStyles Magazine

by: Damien R. von Dahlem - Copyright

As difficult as divorce is, the silver lining was the excitement, optimism, and glitz and glamour of being single again and meeting the love of our life.

Then, in spite of the best efforts of our well meaning friends to set us up with their banker, real estate agent, or cousin, it did not take long to realize that at age 33 or 52, dating in a college town is somewhat of a challenge; too old for a mash pit, too young for bingo night, and far too busy for a singles cruise.

Some of us are further disadvantaged because eighty percent of all relationships begin in the work place and thanks to the internet; many of us now work from at home. In hindsight, many of us may have chosen to remain married to the reptile we were with over the trenches of midlife dating warfare.

The midlife women quickly discover that soccer moms are now a hot item with twenty something boys and embrace the attention until the sexual dew wears off, and they realize their love toddler has the intellectual and emotional depth of an Iguana.

Not to be out done, the midlife men invest in a red convertible, gold neck chain and discover, well nothing, they're men. Still they manage to unearth a twenty something single mom and are so enchanted by Barbie's adorable pout, that they don’t see that the light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

Two bottles of wine, scented candles and a box of tissue later, the genders timidly converge on the shadowy doorstep of the internet and the social abyss of online dating. Here the companion deplete are bombarded with more choices than Paris Hilton's little black book. Each website offering up teaser pages of attractive likeminded local singles just waiting to hear from "you" and "you" can have the keys to the candy store for the nominal price of a trip to McDonalds.

The best known of these are Yahoo Personals, Eharmony, Match, and Adult Friend Finder. While Yahoo Personals offers dating advice and other user friendly applications to its members, I find the selection of dateable's lacking and narrow. Eharmony does not allow you to browse the member list at will, but instead tells you whom you can date based on your profile and a lengthy and complicated email process. For these reasons and the fact that I am not a child, I would pass on this offering. Adult Friend Finder is an explicate site and not for the faint hearted. If you plan on keeping your underwear on at least for the first date, this is probably not your cup of tea. If on the other hand you prefer to cut to the chase, you will hardly find more bang for buck anywhere else. Having I must admit tried all of these sites, Match.com is without reservation my first and only choice. Although Match lacks the wonderful functions of Yahoo, it has by far the best selection of potentials that are all in all very approachable, and a delight to meet and spend an hour with.

Whatever your choice, one of the afore mentioned websites, or one of the many other contenders and pretenders, all that is required now is a credit card, and a leap of faith.

So is online dating worth it? Certainly it is not without its own pitfalls and difficulties and the candy store in reality is more like a picked over box of chocolates, but it does not deserve the stigma it has or the raised eyebrows of the bitter and rejected. If you are a little courageous and take a bite out of one here and there, you are likely to find one to your taste, and your liking.

My final analysis is this; like all living things, humans are not designed or configured to spend their days alone, else Noah could have cut his load in half and made room for a Starbucks. We are, for better or for worse, meant to be with someone, and if we are going to be with someone, shouldn't we be in love? For all of its intangibles, distractions, frustrations, infuriation's, and sometimes unimaginable pain, the pursuit of a heart pounding love and the hope of a better tomorrow, is the only thing worth living for. So whether you find that love through a friend, a chance encounter on a park bench, or via the internet, the main thing is that you leave no stone unturned. I assure you that I won't.

Well, there it is then. For those of you, who take the plunge, join me next week and we'll take a look at writing your online profile. That's right; all of the dating websites require you to write a profile on yourself. The good news is that you can now shop the candy store at will; the bad news is that you are now one of the candies. Hmmm, who knows, maybe I'll take a bite.

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